


keep this between us, yea?

by neptunem



Series: Nsfw PiPs [1]
Category: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: Blowjobs, First Times, GAY AWAKENINGS, Internalized Homophobia, Lingerie, M/M, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:28:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neptunem/pseuds/neptunem
Summary: “You’re,” he gulps, “You’re queer, right?” It drops like a brick. His words sting.“Um.” The investigator looks away. They both knew the answer to that. They’d been dancing around the incident since it happened, Sleuth walking in on Inspector’s secret. Inspector, wishfully thinking, had hoped they’d just never speak of it- of Sleuth seeing him dressed in pretty lace, staring at himself in that thrift-store full-length mirror in his room. The lingerie was supposed to be private, a secret- a soft, sweet secret just for himself. Pickle Inspector doesn’t respond, face flushed.
Relationships: Pickle Inspector/Problem Sleuth
Series: Nsfw PiPs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989850
Kudos: 6





	keep this between us, yea?

A soft rapping comes from the other side of Pickle Inspector’s office door. The quick tap-clack of writing falls silent, giving room for his wavering voice. 

“P-Please come in!” Inspector fully expects a new client- business was picking up now, and new clients came often these days. When he looks up from his turquoise typewriter, he blinks in shock to see that it’s Problem Sleuth, hovering in his doorway. 

Odd. Sleuth would usually stroll right on in, or at least knock three times loudly and announce himself with a quip or an exclamation of news. He’d be strolling into his office, drape himself over a chair. Something’s visibly off about him now, his hands nervously fiddling with a corner of his suit jacket. Sleuth stands sheepishly in the open doorway, checks both directions of the hallway before he steps in and gently shuts the door. 

“Hey.” 

“Um. Yes?” Inspector sits up a little, straightening his papers nervously. His brows draw down in concern. “Is something wrong?” He’s already imagining all the worst case scenarios. Are they late on rent? Did a client cancel? Did someone die? 

“Don’t worry, pi, nobody’s died,” Sleuth knows him well. He’s gentle as he predicts what Inspector could be worried about, and the familiarity is comforting, “I have a question for ya,” Sleuth removes his hat and scratches the back of his head, nervous tick, “You, ah…” His usual confidence and candor has abandoned him, and he begins pacing in front of the Inspector's desk.

Inspector speaks up to ease the tension— a position that Sleuth usually takes. 

“What’s troubling you? S-Sit down, I’m all ears.” He removes the papers on his desk, laying them next to his feet, giving their conversation more space. Sleuth, his best friend, bites his lip as he settles into the folding chair across the desk. 

“You’re,” he gulps, “You’re queer, right?” It drops like a brick. His words sting.

“Um.” The investigator looks away. They both knew the answer to that. They’d been dancing around the incident since it happened, Sleuth walking in on Inspector’s secret. Inspector, wishfully thinking, had hoped they’d just never speak of it- of Sleuth seeing him dressed in pretty lace, staring at himself in that thrift-store full-length mirror in his room. The lingerie was supposed to be private, a secret- a soft, sweet secret just for himself. Pickle Inspector doesn’t respond, face flushed. 

“I’m just making sure, you know.” Sleuth is pouring buckets out of a sinking ship, “There’s been somethin’ on my mind, I wanted to try out… You’re my best friend, and I trust you more than anyone. You wouldn’t let somethin’ like this get out. You wouldn’t make me feel ashamed.” Sleuth’s eyes are too intense, looking at him in earnest. 

“I don’t n- I don’t know where this is going. We shouldn’t discuss this.” Looking away, Inspector’s fiddling with his sleeves. “Please.” 

“No- no, hear me out. You know I saw you and I can’t, just, forget that. I can’t get it out of my head—“ 

“Sleuth. That was a mistake. Please. Just pretend it didn’t happen, do that for me, your imagination stat is high enough for that, right?”

“My imagination stat is high enough to think about you in other ways.” Sleuth retorts quickly, but immediately regrets it. There’s a long, thick pause before he coughs and continues, “Sorry. But. I _like_ what I saw, Pickle. I can’t get it— _you_ — out of my head, and I thought if I came to you about it.... Whatever you’ve got going on, I want to know more.”

Inspector gulps. Stays silent. Maybe if he didn’t say anything, Sleuth would drop it and they could go on to pretend he hadn’t been caught. That denial was quickly fleeting, though, under Sleuth’s sincere tone.

“Pi, I’ve never thought about this before. I’ve been thinking about-“ His voice dies. He can’t bring himself to say what he’s been thinking of, but the message is clear. 

Another painful silence sits between them. Inspector finally speaks up, not daring to look up and meet his gaze, his voice low. 

“We can talk about this tonight, at home. _Not_ here.” 

Sleuth nods, and has the grace to leave without another word. 

—

The rest of the work day drags by, avoiding each other around the office as much as they could. Inspector needed time to think, to figure out what he wanted— Sleuth had every opportunity to shut him out, but it seemed that Inspector was the one closing doors and withdrawing. Needless to say, none of Inspector’s projects were completed when he left his office and rejoined Sleuth for their drive home. It’s quiet, and Inspector notices how nervous Sleuth is— afraid of the wall Inspector had so hastily thrown up between them. His best friend. 

They arrive home, and the rituals that come with that commence. It’s so familiar and routine, the act of putting their hats on the stand, removing their coats and shoes. As soon as it’s over, they’d need to address the elephants suffocating the room out. Inspector jumps when he feels Sleuth touch his shoulder. 

“Can we talk now?” His voice is quiet, timid and careful.

“Tell me… What thoughts have been troubling you?” His words are cautiously chosen, and difficult to come by. Inspector was pulling the wall down, an unfamiliar work, worth it for the gracious relief on his best friend’s face. 

“It might be easier to show you.” 

The taller man nods, relieved to not have to find the words for what he didn’t really understand yet. An act of trust.

Sleuth’s hand on his cheek is gentle, and welcome. He’s shorter than his friend, and when he leans closer he rests his face against Inspector’s neck. Sleuth stays still, enjoying the closeness, and when he speaks his voice is a breath, “ _Your neck is soft_.”

“Ah,” Goosebumps run the length of Inspector’s body, “Thank you.” He can feel his friend’s lips hesitate just above his skin before pressing up under his ear. The kiss lights him up, and he gives in, melting easily against Sleuth. Inspector’s shaky hands find purchase on the other’s shoulders, anchoring himself. 

Sleuth takes it slow, charting new territory, permission is granted freely to him. His kisses keep moving, feeling down the other’s neck. His hands reach up and slightly fumble to loosen his own tie. Sleuth is able to take the lead, but with hesitance. Neither of them had done this before, and neither of them had quite _felt_ like this before, either.

Inspector at least enjoyed his own fantasies with imaginary men, but for Sleuth… it’s new. He’d never thought of men before, unaware they were even an option. He’d spent so long only thinking of girlfriends, women with large breasts, lipstick, long hair and dresses. It was alright, he was able to get off and had his own lucky nights with gals before, but for the past week... his mind was filled with flat chests covered in delicate lace, and long hairy legs wrapping around his hips.

Both of them are a little lost in thought, but it’s difficult— _impossible_ to think as Sleuth continues his descent, breath and kisses washing over Inspector’s sensitive skin. He just manages to speak up, “D-don’t leave marks.” 

Sleuth gives a quiet apology, surprised at the sheer temptation. Pi had the kind of skin that would bruise easy, like a peach... It would be bad for business, if customers came in to see the Inspector with dark, rosy hickeys up his neck. Sleuth pulls away. “Would it be too much to ask if, you wore the—uh.” His eyes look down at his friend’s lanky body. He’s used to seeing him fully clothed, those beige suits and trench coats and button-up shirts— but that _one moment_ , that one glimpse of his best friend barely clothed was better than any suit. He hadn’t even had a good chance to really _see_ , and only the fleeting glance of this delicate skin and the suggestion of white lace stayed with him. 

“You want to see me i-in the lingerie again?” Sheepishly, a little bashfully, Inspector’s voice is hopeful. 

“ _Yes_ , please.” Sleuth is eager, gaze flicking back over the other’s body. They stay still for a moment, caught in the insidious spell between them. Inspector is the first to move. 

It feels safer in Pickle Inspector’s room. The blinds are closed, the yellow ceiling light dim and unoffending. Private, enclosed. No prying eyes here. Sleuth stands in the doorway a moment too long, before he awkwardly sits on the bed. Inspector nervously moves to open his closet door. There’s a hushed quickness in his hands to dig out the garment, stuffed behind his old suitcase and rain boots. 

“Um. Please look away.” Sleuth averts his gaze. PI’s far too shy to let Sleuth _watch_ him undress. It’s a mutual embarrassment though, and they both begin discarding their clothing without peeking. Sleuth finds reprieve in the moment unbeholden to Inspector’s attention. His slender fingers removes his tie completely now, moving to unbutton his shirt. There’s a moment of hesitation before the soft sound of his zipper reaches Inspector, shuffling around in the closet. Sleuth’s movements are slow, not wanting (or perhaps unable) to act too quickly. Too afraid to somehow make a mistake and shatter the moment. 

It’s nice that Sleuth’s taking his time, because Inspector would crack under pressure if he was made to rush. As it is, his fingers tremble as they discard his clothes. It’s easier hiding behind the open closet door as he undresses, hurriedly pulling on the delicate lingerie. It’s a one-piece, the store he’d bought it from claimed it a ‘one size fits all,’ but it’s awkward around his chest. It’s certailny not ‘one-size’ lower down. It’s incredibly revealing, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination—but he doesn’t give himself time to second guess. If he hesitates, the spell will be broken and he might spend the rest of his life regretting the step he takes from behind the closet door. 

Now he’s in view, and Inspector doesn’t dare to look his companion in the eye. Sleuth doesn’t embarrass him by saying anything. In fact, he’s frozen and speechless, his eyes scanning Inspector up and down. Nearly in disbelief. 

He’s seen other men without shirts on in other contexts. There were shirtless men in the gym, in advertising, the occasional ones in movies. It’s never looked so intimate as this though. Pink nipples peek sweetly from under flowery lace. Inspector doesn’t really have muscles like most of the men he’d seen shirtless— Pi’s skin looks… _elegant_ , the hair on his chest sparse and thin. Would it be soft if he touched it? Blonde hair trails down low, lower, Sleuth watches it curl nicely around his… 

He’s never seen another man’s cock before. Gripped by the sight, Sleuth clutches the bed sheets tightly. Curiosity and terror mixes around in his chest and a tight heat blossoms lower in his stomach. His lips fall apart, as if to speak, but he can’t make a sound. 

Inspector, ever without grace, tugs at the lace awkwardly as though he can somehow cover himself in it. Pi’s gaze is stuck on Sleuth’s feet, the carpet beneath them, his voice just above a whisper, “What, um. What d- did you want me to do?”

“I,” He pauses, “I ain’t too sure how it’s s’pposed to go with a guy…” Sleuth takes in a breath, “Pi, you look _amazin_ ’.”

Inspector’s face flushes, unable to stop the small smile— He isn’t sure how this is supposed to work either, but he has ideas. 

“You could, t-touch me, for now. If you’d like.” He’s finally mustered the courage to meet the other’s gaze, needing to see his response. Sleuth hesitates at first, but in a moment he stands, bites his lip, and steps forward. 

“Like this?” His hands nervously flutter up around Inspector’s waist and slide down to his hips. He’s mesmerized by how soft the fabric is when he brushes his thumb at it’s edge— it compliments the gentle touch of Pi’s skin. The garment only has a thin strap that wraps around Pickle’s side, so much skin exposed to Sleuth’s palms. The low heat becomes almost a problem now—He’d never been hard touching a woman like this. 

Inspector nods, relishing the touch. He’s eager to reach up and push Sleuth’s button-up off his shoulders, rest his hands on the other’s bare chest. He’s _warm_. They both take a small, mutual step closer, in some kind of embrace. 

Sleuth finds his confidence, tilting his head to kiss around Inspector’s collar bones. They’re beautiful, he thinks, marveling at how _right_ it felt to be doing this with a _man_. Not just any man, either. His best friend. He feels Inspector’s fingers cling tight to his shoulders. It excites him in a way he enjoys and fears, tucking this little secret away in his heart. 

“We could…” Pi’s words shyly draw out, “Touch each other’s...?” There’s so much more he wants to do, but he hasn’t the experience or confidence to run through it all—it might be too much to bear, both of them already struggling to maintain themselves. Rubbing one out? Every man knows how to do that. It couldn't be that different when doing it to someone else, couldn’t be that scary. 

“Uh,” Sleuth fumbles, the question jolts his whole body and he freezes, having been caught up in the closeness they’d already gotten into, “I, that’s,” His brain crashes, “You c—”

“Sorry- I,” Pi shakes his head, “We don’t have to do it- it was just a suggestion,” He’s quick to withdraw, skittish here as he is everywhere else.

Sleuth clears his throat to compose himself, starting again. “I want to. It’s okay. Would you please?” He’s had plenty of handjobs before. Would it feel different coming from a guy? It wouldn’t, right? How different could it even be?

This is more confident territory. Sleuth steps back and pushes his pants down, sitting on the edge of Pi’s bed. Inspector doesn’t mind, though he tries his best to politely not stare as he takes a seat next to him. Neither of them wants to make the first move. Sleuth is the one to do it, willing himself the strength to relax his hand on Inspector’s cock. It’s hot to the touch, and the textured lace feels soft when he lightly brushes his fingers across it. 

That really does something to Inspector. Sleuth’s delighted to see him gasp and quiver from the sensation— could also be the thrill of their unique situation. “That’s…” Instead of finishing his sentence, he returns the favor and reaches over to touch Sleuth through his boxers. Looking up, he watches Sleuth’s eyes close and his expression relax and shift as Inspector slowly strokes him through the cotton.

Sleuth feels hot and heavy in his hand, and it’s satisfying to see the way he shudders and sighs at Pi’s light touch. Sleuth breathes a soft noise, pulling his hand away to shove down his underwear, needing, a small ” _Please_ ,” under his breath. The word jolts straight through Inspector, and he’s almost breathless at the sight. Tearing his gaze away from Sleuth’s face, Inspector’s getting an eyeful of his now-exposed cock. It’s blushing red and beautifully bobbing in excitement, and there’s no way Inspector could bring himself to stop touching it. It’s better than the imaginary dicks he’d fantasized about in the shower, briefly wondering how it’d feel in his mouth. He strokes a little faster now, and Sleuth moans, “O- _ooh_ wow, keep doin’ that.”

Attempting to keep up his end of the deal, Sleuth fights through the sensation to touch Inspector. His thumb bushes the lace aside, and he wraps his fingers around Insepctor’s length, stroking him shakily. He’s more nervous than his friend is, surprisingly, and his pace is slower and less confident— He’s jittery and faltering from his own heated pleasure. 

Inspector certainly doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he moves closer, tentivily pushing his lips against Sleuth’s jaw. It’s a sweet kiss. Sleuth tilts his head, gasping, an invitation. Pi kisses lightly, sweetly. Moving downwards, his kisses are slow and soft while his hand moves quick and firm. 

He takes in the sweet begging his friend is whispering under his breath with satisfaction. He’d had fantasies before of being able to kiss him, to see Sleuth’s million watt smile shine at him when they’re alone and not just talking to the press, but he’s never dared to give any hint to it. Here now, he’s able to admire him as much as he likes. Showing his adoration, Inspector cusps Sleuth’s cheek with his free hand and kisses him. Any doubt that Sleuth wouldn’t like it leaves his mind when he eagerly recooperates the kiss with more vigor in return. 

Only a few more seconds of hot strokes before Sleuth’s hands anchor down on Inspector’s shoulders. He shudders and stifles a moan as he cums in his hand. Although Pi is still hard he waits for his friend to recover. Sleuth breathes into his neck, seemingly hiding there with his eyes closed. He’s silent and it takes Inspector a few moments to recognize that silence as thinking. 

“Sleuth…?” 

“Gimme a sec, I,” he gulps nervously, “I wanna try somethin’. I’m not leavin’ you hanging, pi.” Sleuth moves slowly, his legs slinking down to the floor as Inspector watches silently. 

“Ah,” he puts two and two together when Sleuth settles himself on his keeps, pushing Inspector’s legs apart gently, “You- you don’t need to, it’s—”

“Please?” Sleuth looks up at him, those green eyes wide and sweet. The plea silences his thoughts and stops his blabbering. 

“Jus’ let me try?” 

Inspector nods silently, scooting a little closer to the edge of the bed. His thighs are dreadfully close to Sleuth’s face when he leans closer. Sleuth’s hand comes up to start stroking his cock, slowly at first, before gaining confidence to pull away and replace the touch with the tentative brush of lips. 

The feeling shocks Sleuth- just as much as it shocks the other- and he pauses. Inspector goes to say something, but gasps instead when Sleuth’s tongue swipes the tip of his cock. Shakily, his hands release the bedsheets to run his fingers through soft blonde locks. Sleuth doesn’t put it in his mouth yet, instead he strokes most of the shaft while running his tongue over the pink tip. The hands gripping his hair encourages him to venture further. 

Inspector gasps at each swipe of his tongue. Keeping his eyes open is hard, he enjoys the view of Sleuth between his legs— occasionally looking up with his sweet eyes and heart-stopping smile— but the new feeling of warm lips against is dick is overwhelmingly pleasurable. Even better than a hand that doesn’t belong to him. 

“ _Sleuth_ ,” his tone is urgent and hushed, “your mouth…” Inspector doesn’t know what a good blowjob is supposed to feel like, he’s never gotten one from a woman let alone a man. In his hazy mind, he thinks a good blowjob is definitely one that comes from Sleuth. 

For Sleuth, he wings it as he goes. He tries to remember what gals have done whenever they’d gone down on him, and how it felt, and does his best to replicate that. Taking it all in his mouth is harder than it seems. Even fitting half of it down his mouth is hard without feeling the beginnings of a gagging sensation bubble up. He thinks, as his eyes glance up to see Inspector’s eyes close in ecstasy, that he could be a lot better if he practiced.

Pi’s breathing becomes more labored. He pulls his mouth away and watches as saliva makes his cock glossy and wet. His friend doesn’t need to say anything, he can tell that he’s getting close. Stroking faster, he worships the tip of his cock with quick flicks of his tongue. 

That pushes Inspector further, short moans following every flick, his legs shakes, before he pushes Sleuth’s head away. His friend’s hand misses most of it. Cum splatters Sleuth’s cheek. 

The excitement from _that_ stirs a hot feeling in Sleuth’s stomach but he ignores it in favor of watching Inspector quiver and relax from his climax. His eyes peek open to look down, and his cheeks grow redder when he sees Sleuth’s face claimed with his cum. 

He worries for a moment, about to say something or apologize, but his words cut short and he sheepishly smiles back when Sleuth gives him that cheeky grin and loving look. That same look he often gives him whenever they share an intimate moment together, or he’s proud of something Pi done, or that one time Pi caught him singing a song while cooking breakfast… 

It soothes the Inspector's nerves. He reaches over to his nightstand where tissues are hidden away and grabs one, not to hand it to Sleuth to clean himself off but to gently wipe away the mess for him. Sleuth leans into his hand, relaxed but his heart still pumping fast. 

“Same time next week, yeah?” He asks. 

“Ah,” Inspector doesn’t hide his own little smile, “I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> An then pickle fucked him into the bedsheets or somethin idk. My two partners helped write this, thank you


End file.
